Misinformed merchants meant well when men went meddling in minty affairs, making merry of a miraculous “matchless” material. But the humbler fact must be that the watermint and the spearmint melded to form the mintiest of Mediterranean mint: peppermint.

A few mindful sips from your mug may mend your ailing stomach to mint condition, or move much miry mucus to make way for the miraculous meadow or museum to meander and whisk most meditatively in the midst of your muzzle.

Or, it’ll just taste really nice.